


Past imperfect, present tense

by BecauseImClassy



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: F/M, Matt and Karen are a couple, Mixed Emotions, Reconciliation, Unexpected Meeting, and Foggy and Marci are on a date, but this is mainly about Matt and Foggy making up, lots of talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 15:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecauseImClassy/pseuds/BecauseImClassy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post season 2. Foggy runs into Matt unexpectedly, and they finally talk. Karen and Marci get to know each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Past imperfect, present tense

**Author's Note:**

> I thought Karen and Marci needed a chance to hang out, and obviously Matt and Foggy need to make up. So here's both! I had no idea what to title it, so I went with grammar nerdery.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Nelson.” Marci sticks her head into Foggy’s office. “Tonight, you and me, dancing?” she inquires with a smile.

“I don’t know, Marce. I’ve got stuff to do.”

“You mean like moping?” She steps in and closes the door. “Foggy bear, you have not wanted to go out or do anything fun ever since you broke up with your little sidekick.”

“He wasn’t my—that’s not true.”

“It is true. I can hardly even get you into bed, I may have to start feeling insulted.” She comes over and sits on the edge of his desk. “You know, it’s sweet that you and Murdock stayed friends for so long. But whatever happened—and I do not want to know—if he pissed you off enough for you to dump him for good this time, then you need to move on. Don’t look back, Foggy bear. Look ahead. To this evening, when there will be dancing.” She leans forward and does a little shimmy. “And drinks. And then you come home with me, and I’ll take shameless advantage of you on my new sofa. Much better than staying in and moping.”

“I am _not_ moping.”

“Good, then you can pick me up at nine.” She smiles brightly and hops off the desk. And Foggy has to admit, that does sound good. He hasn’t been much in the mood for fun lately, but it’s just the stress of acclimating to his new job at one of the most prestigious law firms in the city. It’s got nothing to do with Matt, his former best friend. Nothing at all. He hardly ever even thinks about Matt. He’s certainly not moping, or missing him. Definitely not.

He gives Marci a smile, and nods. “Okay. Tonight, we go out dancing. Thanks for putting up with me, Marci.”

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Nelson.” She leans forward again and waggles her eyebrows at him suggestively. “You’d better make it worth my while.” He grins, and she strolls out the door.

—————————————————————————

The bar they go to is dark and crowded, noisy with people and music. There’s an open space at the far end of the floor, and people are dancing. He and Marci thread their way through the crowd, looking for an open table, when something catches Foggy’s eye on the dance floor.

He looks, then stops dead. _Shit._ Matt and Karen are right there, dancing together. Matt’s letting Karen guide him, and the other dancers have left a bubble of extra space around the blind man, making them easy to spot. Foggy feels stunned. He knew they were back together, Karen had told him. But somehow his brain had refused to make the obvious leap to the two of them going out on actual dates. It was easier to imagine Matt, if he thought of him at all, living a shadowy life of ninjas and solitude, devoting himself to protecting the city. Which is ridiculous. For one thing, he knows that Matt’s trying to keep up a solo legal practice. But he still didn’t expect to see him out enjoying himself, like a normal person.

But here he is, in this goddamn bar, of all the places they could have gone. Looking _happy._ He and Karen are both glowing, in fact. Even as he watches, she leans in to say something in his ear, and he throws back his head and laughs, that unrestrained dorky laugh that Foggy hasn’t heard in far, far too long. Matt only laughs like that when he’s truly happy, and Foggy feels a complicated tangle of emotions surge up in his chest.

Marci realizes he’s no longer following her, and turns back. She follows the line of his stare, and her eyebrows rise up until they almost meet her hairline.

“Well, well. Look who’s here.” She sounds disapproving. “I gotta say, Foggy bear, he doesn’t look like he’s wearing mourning.” Trust Marci to put her finger directly in the wound. He doesn’t want Matt to be miserable, he’s not that big an asshole. But he can’t deny it hurts, seeing Matt so happy without him. He looks happier than Foggy is, in fact, and dammit, _Foggy_ was supposed to be the one better off without their friendship. He feels petty, and ashamed of himself, and he suddenly misses Matt with an intensity sharp enough to bring a lump to his throat.

Just then, Karen turns and catches sight of him, and beams. “Foggy!” she shouts, and Matt turns too, his face lighting up. “Foggy?” he repeats, as Karen tugs him over to meet them.

Matt reaches out to touch Foggy’s arm, smiling, but Foggy feels a dart of anger. Does he think he can just pretend none of it happened, that nothing’s changed? He feels his heart rate increase, and watches as Matt smile dims and he pulls his hand back uncertainly. He knows Matt can’t see his face, but Karen can. She raises her eyebrows at him, head tipped to one side, and he realizes he still hasn’t said anything. He pulls himself together, feeling like a dick.

“Um. Hi, Karen. Hi, Matt.”

“Uh. Hi, Foggy.” Matt doesn’t even acknowledge Marci’s presence. Karen rolls her eyes and pointedly turns toward her.

“Hi, it’s Marci, right?”

“Yes it is. Marci Stahl.”

“Karen Page.”

Marci gives her what looks like a genuine smile, possibly in response to the eye roll. “Of course, Foggy told me a few months ago you and Murdock were dating.”

“Yeah, well.” Karen purses her lips. “It’s a little more complicated than that. I dumped him after the Castle trial—“ Marci grins—“but now we’re back together.” She squeezes Matt’s arm to take the sting out of her words. Foggy and Matt can’t seem to find anything to say, they stand awkwardly listening to the women.

“Too much drama for me,” says Marci. “I hope at least he’s good in the sack.”

“Oh, god yes,” Karen answers frankly, while Matt ducks his head and fidgets. Marci laughs, offering her a fist bump and a “Get it, girl!” Then she looks around the room, spotting an empty table.

“All right, boys, we have a table, let's take this train wreck by the horns and sit together.”

“Fine by me,” says Karen, seeming perfectly at ease, and Foggy realizes with some apprehension that she and Marci are _getting along._ He wonders if he and Matt are going to survive the night, and from the look on Matt’s face he’s thinking much the same thing.

Once they’re all seated around the table, drinks in hand, the women seem happy to carry the conversation between them. They talk about their former jobs, Karen at Union Allied Construction, Marci at Landman and Zack. Both firms having been tied up in Wilson Fisk’s web of organized crime, they turn out to know a few of the same people, and assassinate their characters mercilessly.

“He ever hit on you?” Marci asks, about a particular executive.

“Of course,” says Karen, so matter-of-factly that Foggy stares at her. Somehow, after everything else Union Allied did to her, he’s never stopped to consider that she might have also had to deal with the more mundane shittiness of workplace sexual harassment. He glances at Matt, and judging by the set of his jaw he hadn’t known, either. “He hit on everyone,” she continues, in a tone of weary disgust. “What about you?”

“Oh, he tried,” says Marci sweetly. Karen grins.

“Must be nice, being a high-powered lawyer. If you’re a secretary, you might as well be the lunch buffet.”

“But, Karen,” Matt interjects. “You know you don’t have to put up with that. There are laws against harassment…” Both women turn to look at him, Karen fondly, Marci pityingly.

“You’re an idealist, Murdock,” Marci says, shaking her head, and continues sarcastically, “Because reports of harassment are _always_ taken seriously, the guilty are punished, and there’s never _any_ blowback or retaliation against the whistle-blower.”

“Well, actually,” says Karen, “I was trying to build up a case. Documenting everything, reading up on company policy. But then I stumbled on something much bigger to blow the whistle about.” She tells Marci a condensed version of the pension scandal she uncovered, and its consequences. Foggy and Matt join in, telling their side of it, how they first met Karen, and how she ended up working for them.

“She hired herself, really,” says Foggy. “Offered to work for free, although she took back that part later.” He tries to glare at her, and fails.

Karen smiles. “I had to get another job somewhere, and a couple of broke lawyers who couldn’t even afford to pay me looked pretty good. Because you _are_ idealistic—“ she squeezes Matt’s hand—“and you wanted to help people. I wanted to be a part of that. And let’s face it, I ran that office.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Foggy agrees, but he’s starting to be uncomfortable reminiscing about the good old days. He doesn’t dare look at Matt. Fortunately, Marci has something else on her mind.

“So you saw Daredevil, up close and personal.”

“Well. Not all that close. But yeah, I saw him.”

“I bet he’s hotter in person than what we saw on the news.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Karen smiles a little, not looking at Matt. “He was still wearing the black outfit then, and it was raining, and when that shirt got wet… _damn._ You could count his abs.”

“Nice ass?”

“ _Oh_ yeah.”

“Watch out, Murdock, looks like you’ve got competition.”

“I’m not worried,” says Matt lightly, but to Foggy’s ear he sounds a little uncomfortable being discussed like this.

Karen leans in and kisses his cheek. “I will never leave you for Daredevil,” she proclaims. “Anyway, I don’t know if a hot masked vigilante is really relationship material, do you?” Foggy knows she’s just saying it to tease Matt, but Marci scoffs.

“Relationship? Hell no, girl, a hot masked vigilante is for fucking in a dark alley, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.”

Judging by the hitch in her breath, the way her eyes lose focus and her mouth opens slightly, she’s thinking about it now. Marci watches Matt closely, with a slightly malicious smile. Foggy glances at Matt himself, knowing he can’t see Karen’s expression, but willing to bet he can tell how she’s reacting anyway.

Matt’s ducking his head again, trying to hide his face. But one hand drops down below the table, and a moment later Karen inhales sharply and turns toward him with a surprised smile. Her own hand disappears from sight, and he twitches and gives her a mischievous grin. Marci looks disappointed.

She stands up. “Excuse me all, but nature calls. Be right back.”

Karen stands too. “Now that you mention it…”

The two women walk off together, leaving Foggy and Matt alone. Marci’s laughter drifts back to them, and Foggy looks after them nervously. 

“Marci just put her arm around Karen like they’re best friends,” he tells Matt. “No good can come of this.”

Matt sighs. “Right before Marci laughed, Karen said ‘They’re a couple of grown-ass adults, they can both start acting like it.’”

“Oh,” says Foggy. “Ah.”

“Yeah. I don’t think they’re coming back to this table until we talk.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence, then Foggy says, “You know, Marci’s probably asking Karen what you’re like in bed.”

“Yep, probably.”

“Can you hear them from here?”

“I’m not going to try. In the first place, that would be rude. In the second place, I already know what Karen thinks about…that aspect of things.” For just a moment he looks _very_ pleased with himself, the smug bastard. “And I don’t think I want to hear whatever commentary Marci might have to offer. She’s never been my biggest fan, and I’m guessing she likes me even less now.”

“You’d be right about that.”

Another silence. Matt takes off his glasses. Foggy feels a flash of resentment against Karen for putting them in this position. She has no business trying to make them talk to each other. But his anger passes as quickly as it came. She’s in a difficult position herself, dating Matt and being friends with Foggy. He knows it’s hard for her, seeing them at odds. He knows she wants them to be friends again, though she never says it. She never tries to be a go-between, never asks them to make up, managing to balance her roles in both their lives. That can’t be easy, and if tonight she saw an opportunity and decided to take advantage of it, he can’t really blame her.

And of course, if he’s really determined not to speak to Matt, he can always leave. But then Karen would be upset, and Marci would never let him hear the end of it if he runs away. He sighs. _You’re a grown-ass adult. So act like it._

“So, uh, how’s the new job?” Matt asks.

That seems like a safe topic. And yeah, a part of him wants Matt to know he’s doing all right on his own. “Good, it’s good. Well-compensated. I’m looking forward to making a sizable dent in my student loans.”

Matt nods, but there’s a tiny frown between his brows. Once, he would have said “That’s not what it’s about, Foggy,” or quoted Thurgood Marshall at him. Now, he just looks uncomfortable. “That’s good,” he says, nodding and frowning. “Getting out of debt is good. Do you like being back at a big firm again?”

“I…well. Yeah. Yes and no. I really felt like I had to prove myself, going in. But you know what? I am proving myself. It’s a competitive environment, but it’s pushing me in good ways. I’m finding out what I’m really good at, you know?” 

Matt’s smiling now, the tiny frown gone, and he’s listening intently, giving Foggy his full attention. Foggy suddenly realizes, with a shock, that none of his new colleagues ever listen to him like this. It’s nothing personal—they don’t listen to each other, either. Everyone focuses on themselves, their needs, their priorities. He sighs, deflating a little.

“It’s a shark tank,” he admits. “And I guess I’m one of the sharks now, which is weird. But I like the challenge. I really like knowing that I can do this, I can keep up.” _On my own,_ he doesn’t say. _Without you._ “Only, there isn’t really anyone there, except Marci, that I’d ever want to spend time with outside of work.” _And I don’t know if I actually want to be a shark._

Matt raises his eyebrows. “Marci Stahl is the warm and friendly end of the spectrum?”

“I know, right? But I haven’t been there long, I’m sure it’ll get better. I’ll settle in.” Matt can detect a lie, but can he detect someone trying to convince himself of something? He quickly changes the subject.

“So, you and Karen. How’s that going?”

Matt lights up. “It’s good, Foggy. It’s really good.”

“She wouldn’t come back to work for you?”

“I didn’t ask her to. I can keep my own books.” Foggy suspects that means Matt’s back to no clients. _Do not feel sorry for him. He brought this on himself._ Foggy had refused to take any of the giant check Elektra had given them, arguing that _he_ hadn’t done anything for her. So he knows Matt isn’t broke, he’s got some time to build his practice back up.

“And anyway,” Matt continues, “she was born to be an investigative journalist. Can you imagine a better job for her?”

“You’re right, it’s perfect.”

“Plus,” he says lightly, “this way she’s not sleeping with her boss.”

“I didn’t notice you worrying about that the first time around.”

“No. But I probably should have.” He sighs. “God, there’s so many things I should have thought through the first time around.”

“But it’s going well?”

“Yes. It’s…complicated. It’s not always easy. But she said when she took me back, if we both want this then we can figure it out. So that’s what we’re doing.”

“She worries about you, you know.”

“Of course I know. Did you think she was too shy to mention it?” Foggy glances at his face, but he’s not angry. He’s smiling fondly, but Foggy can’t tell if the fondness is for him or for Karen. “I worry about her, too, the way she chases after a story with no regard for her own safety. But boy, you should have heard her tell me off for being over-protective.”

“Oh, I can imagine.”

“So, yeah, I know she worries. But she knows that I have to do…what I do. It’s part of who I am, if I repress it forever I’m not _whole._ And with my…abilities, and my training—I have to go out there and do whatever I can to help people. To have the ability to help, and to choose not to…I couldn’t live with myself.”

Foggy knows it’s not intended as a dig, Matt wouldn’t do that. But hasn’t he, Foggy, chosen not to help the people who need help the most? His clients these days are rich, entitled assholes who think the whole purpose of legal representation is to clean up after them while they do whatever they want. Dammit, he can’t start questioning his life choices now. This is exactly why—and the realization hits him with a shock. _This_ is why he’s been refusing to talk to Matt all these weeks. He told himself he simply couldn’t forgive and forget, after everything Matt’s done, but it’s more than that. He feels his heart pounding, sweat breaking out on his skin.

And Matt leans forward, concern and guilt all over his face. “Foggy, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you, I…I’m sorry. Maybe I should…do you want me to leave?”

“No, don’t go.” Foggy puts his hand on Matt’s forearm to hold him there. “Just…give me a minute.” Matt sits silent, and waits, while Foggy searches for the right words to explain himself. He’s not proud of the words he finds, but he says them anyway.

“I’m afraid, Matt.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of seeing you, talking to you.” He stares at the table, not looking at Matt. “I’m afraid that if I let you back into my life…I’ll care too much. I’ll want to leave my successful career, and come back to helping you save the world. And I can’t do that again, I _can’t,_ I don’t trust you anymore.” The words are coming more easily now, tumbling out of him. “I forgave you once, we patched things up and tried to make it work. But as soon as things got tough for you, as soon as Frank Castle showed up, and Elektra, as soon as the pressure was on you just started lying again. You _abandoned_ me, Matt, professionally and personally. And you didn’t just hurt me, you hurt Karen.” He glances up to see Matt sitting perfectly still, his head bowed.

“If I give you another chance, you’ll just go off on some goddamn secret ninja mission, and not tell me anything, and leave me holding the bag again. Assuming you don’t get yourself killed, which is another thing—I can’t go back to constantly worrying about you. I can’t take it. It’s…it’s easier not to think about it if I don’t ever see you. God, I feel like a dick even saying that. But it’s true. That’s why I don’t want to talk to you. It’s partly because of what you did. But also because I’m afraid my whole life is gonna go off the rails if I let you back in.”

Matt raises his head, his expression undecipherable, like maybe he’s feeling too many things at once. Which Foggy can definitely relate to. “You know,” he goes on quietly, “when Karen told me you two were back together, I asked her how she could stand the worry. And she said, ‘I’ll worry about him either way. He’s going to be out there risking himself, whether I take him back or not. Did you stop worrying about him when you stopped talking to him?’ And the truth is, I tried. I should have figured it out right then, why I’ve been avoiding you. But I didn’t want to. It was just so much easier not to think about it. About any of it. To just blame you for everything and get on with my life.” He sighs. “Maybe that makes me a selfish asshole, or maybe I’m just protecting myself from Hurricane Matthew. I can’t tell.”

“Foggy, you have every right to want a life that isn’t…” He sighs too. “I’m sorry,” he says, so low that Foggy has to lean forward to hear him. “You’re right, my life is kind of a disaster. I steered it right off the rails myself, and then set it on fire. I don’t want to do that to you. But I am trying to do better this time. I’m not making the same mistakes with Karen that I made with you. I’m through hiding things, I’m through thinking I can handle anything—“ he stops himself, even as Foggy raises his eyebrows skeptically, and amends, “Well, I’m working on it, anyway.”

He pauses, his lips pressed together, then says hesitantly, “I don’t want to push. I do want you to be happy. But do we really only have two choices? Either we’re finished, forever, or I ruin your life? Isn’t there anything in between, some middle way we could try?” There’s a familiar look creeping over Matt’s face—hopeful, and sad, and worried all at once, like an anxious puppy. Foggy knows that look. It’s the look he gets when he wants something badly, but doesn’t think he deserves it. Foggy can feel his resolution wavering, and starts to feel panicky.

And as soon as his heart rate starts to climb, Matt pulls away from him and composes his expression. “I’m sorry,” he says again quietly. If Foggy didn’t know him so well, he might have missed the momentary flash of pain and guilt, now carefully hidden. He can’t think about this, so he casts around for a safer topic of conversation.

“So Karen,” he tries. “She accepts…what you do? She’s really okay with it?”

“Yeah, I think so.” His whole expression softens when he talks about Karen. “Pretty okay, at least. More than—“ he stops himself again, but Foggy knows what he was going to say.

“More than me? Well, yeah, I guess that makes sense. She always did have a better opinion of…you…than I did, she admired what you were doing before either one of us knew the truth.”

“And she hasn’t known me as long as you, so maybe the truth’s been easier for her to get used to.”

“And she’s in love with you, that’s got to make some difference.”

Matt’s head comes up sharply, and Foggy asks, “What, no one’s said the words yet?” Matt shakes his head, the anxious look back on his face. 

Foggy tries to backtrack. “I don’t know, man, she hasn’t said anything to me. But I just, when I saw the two of you tonight, before Karen spotted me, you looked so happy together. Even Marci noticed. And I thought, that’s it, they’re really in love. I mean, you are, aren’t you? You love her?”

He nods earnestly, his eyes full of hope. “I do, Foggy. I really do.”

“But you haven’t told her? Dude, why not?”

“She hasn’t said anything, and I don’t want to push. Like you said, I fucked up. I hurt her. So I’m just trying to be careful, trying to get it right this time.”

“And you’re afraid you’ll scare her off if you say the L-word too soon?”

_Yes._ His voice doesn’t say it, but his expression does. And Foggy feels a surge of affection that he’s powerless to combat. He could stay angry indefinitely at angsty, self-righteous, secretive Matt, that reckless idiot who wreaks so much havoc in his own life and everyone else’s. But hopeful, anxious-puppy Matt? Who's trying to fix his mistakes, and confiding in Foggy about his love life? Foggy has no defenses against this Matt, his buddy, his best friend. And he can’t cut one of them out of his life without cutting out the other.

“Something in between, you said,” he hears his own voice saying. “Some middle way we could try. How would that work?”

The hope is back in Matt’s face for an instant, before he conceals it. He answers slowly, choosing his words as carefully as if they’re negotiating nuclear disarmament.

“I don’t know. I won’t ask you to come back and work with me. Maybe it’s better if you don’t, if we aren’t _joined at the hip._ ” He manages to hit the exact sarcastic, dismissive tone Marci had used when she described them that way, years ago. And it’s true, they’ve never been only friends, it’s always been friends/roommates, friends/fellow interns, friends/business partners. Maybe if they aren’t so constantly together, he doesn’t need to fear getting pulled back into Matt’s orbit.

“You can do really well for yourself at HC&B,” Matt continues. “And you deserve that success, you’ve earned it. But maybe we, we could hang out sometimes. Go out for a beer or something. Or just keep in touch, at least.”

“Yeah,” Foggy nods. It’s not really too much to ask, is it? “Yeah, that could work. It might even help me deal with life in the shark tank, if I can tell you about it once in a while. Or would that just be weird? It’s gotta be pretty different from your job.” And Foggy’s not sure he wants to hear about Matt’s job. He’s already feeling twinges of conscience, like he’s abandoned helpless little old ladies in exchange for money and reputation. But Matt hasn’t condemned him, or tried to talk him out of it, and Foggy knows he won’t. Maybe that’s enough, for now.

“I don’t know,” Matt answers him. “It might be weird. But I’d like to try it. It’s better than never talking to you at all. And if talking about work is weird, we can try something else. Bad movies. Karaoke. Anything. If we both want it…”

“We can figure it out?”

“Yeah. What do you want, Foggy?”

He takes a moment to think about it, then sighs. “I want what we used to have. I miss the guy I used to think you were.”

“I’m still here,” he says quietly.

“But it’s not the same, you know it’s not. And there’s no getting that back again, we’ve been over this before.” Matt nods sadly. Foggy continues, thoughtfully, ”Karen says it’s like getting to know you all over again, only knowing this time that she’s getting the whole picture, that you’re not hiding anything. And that…sounds pretty good, actually. I think…I think I can try that.”

And Matt smiles, somehow managing to look surprised and relieved and still a bit anxious, all at once. “Thank you,” he says, sounding a little choked up. He reaches a hand toward Foggy, but stops uncertainly. Foggy meets him halfway. They’re not back on fist-bumping terms, not yet. But he takes Matt’s hand and squeezes it, and Matt squeezes back.

“Just so we’re clear,” says Foggy. “If you hurt Karen again, I will maim you. I’m not sure how, I haven’t really thought it through. But I will do it.” He tries to look threatening, not that Matt can see it. And not that it matters anyway, he’s threatening _Daredevil._ But Matt doesn’t laugh. He nods, looking perfectly serious.

“Good. If I hurt Karen again, I won’t try to stop you.” And then a small smile does creep onto his face. “Whatever’s left of me, after she’s done maiming me herself.”

Foggy laughs. “All right,” he says. “Speaking of Karen, where have our terrifyingly amazing women gotten to?” He looks around. Matt tips his head, listening, and answers “dance floor,” just as Foggy spots them and exclaims, “dance floor!”

“Well, should we join them?”

“Yes, Absolutely.” They both stand, and Matt puts his glasses back on. Foggy bends one arm and bumps it against Matt’s, waiting for him to tuck his hand into Foggy’s elbow. Matt looks surprised, but he smiles and takes Foggy’s arm, and together they head for the dance floor.


End file.
